did bert kreischer rob a train

I was like, 'If you're telling me I can make a movie, I want to make 'The Machine.' Last November, he leaked the teaser on an episode of Rogan. Your new movie is a clear example of authentic storytelling based on your viral bit The Machine, loosely based a true story about robbing a train in Russia as a college student with the Russian mob. After studio bosses saw the new scene, they sent a message: They said to go harder, Kreischer recalled. Bert has also been a host to many reality shows. Rating: R, for strong violence, pervasive language, drug use and some sexual referencesRunning time: 1 hour, 52 minutesPlaying: Opens Friday in general release. Bert Kreischer's "I AM THE MACHINE" photos! I thought that was the craft. 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How long did it take from the time you perfected the story to the time the wheels started turning on making it into a movie? He ends up in the cartels. All rights reserved. CONAN Highlight: Bert studied abroad in Russia when he was 22 and learned the The decision to put present-day Kreischer front and center drops viewers into Berts unpleasant home life, full of friction with his teenager daughter Georgia (Jessica Gabor) and worsened by a visit from his needling father Albert (Mark Hamill), who winds up accompanying him on his return to Russia. Kreischers success also brings him to the attention of a Russian mobster, whose precious family-heirloom watch was stolen during Kreischers robbery. The article would inspire the 2002 movie Van Wilder starring Ryan Reynolds. The first time I told The Machine it was on Dr. Drews Loveline. Someone an old college classmate of mine called up and said, Hey, why dont you tell the story about the time you robbed your friends on a train in Russia? And I was like, Oh, yeah! and that was, like, the most organic version of that story ever because it was like I was in college again. This page was last edited on 31 May 2023, at 20:56. It was hair-raising, Hamill says of the vodka-soaked tale at the movie's core. The final straw came when he asked his 15-year-old daughter Sasha (Jessica Gabor) to pick him up after he got too inebriated to drive home one night and proceeded to livestream the arrest when she was pulled over for driving without a license. And then he had me come back the next night and I told it again. Falcon Lake Review: Heartbreak and Possibly Ghosts Lurk Under a Melancholy Summer Romance, Dwayne Johnson to Lead New Fast & Furious Movie Despite Publicly Swearing Off the Franchise, Brian Cox Calls Succession the Greatest Work Experience of His Career, Amanda Seyfried Teases Return to Comedy Roots with Next Film but We Have to Win These Strikes First, Hello, Summer Breakout! [4] Kreischer has served as host of the television series Hurt Bert on FX as well as Bert the Conqueror and Trip Flip on Travel Channel. When he finally loses his top on screen, the liberated Kreischer turns semi-Rambo, impressively fighting baddies and throwing Albert over his shoulder to escape. Going hard has always been Kreischers specialty. Bert Kreischer Takes Off His Shirt On CONAN CONAN Highlight: Bert will do anything to promote his upcoming stand-up tour, including going shirtless on basic cable television. Fast-forward a few years and youre starring in a movie next to Mark Hamill, who plays your dad. Thats just one of many rules you may not realize were in place before watching The Machine, a feature-length extension of standup comedian Bert Kreischers most famous routine. The Machine begins with Bert Kreischer playing a fictional Kreischer led a group of Russian gangsters in a spirited night of drinking that led to him Team Coco features over 25 years of comedy sketches, celebrity interviews and stand-up comedy sets from CONAN on TBS and Late Night with Conan OBrien, as well as exclusive videos from podcasts like Conan OBrien Needs a Friend, Literally! I am in bed thinking, Im making a comedy, and I literally start shooting tomorrow.'. Itll be my Rambo. The next one, we can do it with the Mexican mafia. This isnt America, youre in Russia. I came up with the tag line after I ask the officer if Ill get in trouble with my teacher, he says to me, F that bitch, this is Russia! This lightbulb went off, like finally I had [an end to the story]. Tom Segura: It's so par for the course of how Burt would do something. Screen Rant: You're in The Machine. He worried The Machine would be sent to the scrap heap. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I worked on this story for five years before I filmed it [for his Showtime comedy special The Machine in 2016]. WebBert Kreischer Rented private Jets In The Past And Gave A Surprise Vacation To Random Person ( Source : facebook ) Bert is estimated to have a net worth of $3 Million in 2022. And then when youre in that situation, you totally get it. You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times. Im not going to rehab. I had nothing to do with it. Then I got obsessed with telling it and it just got better and better. The Machine is an action comedy film that follows Bert Kreischer and his father, Albert Kreischer, Sr., who are kidnapped by the Russian mafia while on a trip Maybe this is all reconciled in the original routine. The Machine is an action comedy film that follows Bert Kreischer and his father, Albert Kreischer, Sr., who are kidnapped by the Russian mafia while on a trip together. Thats our movie. And he expects to squeeze more out of his opus. with Nicole Byer, The Three Questions with Andy Richter, May I Elaborate? I remember one time asking Mark for parenting advice and he gave me advice and then that night I was on the phone with my dad and he gave me the exact same advice Mark gave me. So in the process of filming a movie called The Machine, you became the Machine again by going through that ordeal. ", "The Machine" gives an explanation for Kreischer's shirtless comedy routine, zeroing in on his hatred of shirts. I started doing movie pitches for it 2018-19. Its fitting that the bit that finally helped him click things into place was a story he started telling from his college frat boy days about robbing his classmates on a train in Russia during a class trip with help from the Russian mafia. [31] Kreischer also co-hosts the 2 Bears 1 Cave podcast with Tom Segura. [18][19][20] He is also known for his storytelling; his most popular story is about how he allegedly earned the nickname "The Machine". He passive aggressively judges everything Bert does, from his grilling abilities to his ability to provide for his family without a job. He tried to tell his new friends that he was a badass, but his loose grasp on the Russian language led to him inadvertently giving himself the nickname The Machine instead. Now that youve done your first movie, is it an experience youd ever go through again? Watch highlights, outtakes and behind the scenes footage of Conan palling around with sidekick Andy Richter, tormenting Associate Producer Jordan Schlansky and playing the latest video games on Clueless Gamer.ABOUT TEAM COCOTeam Coco is the YouTube home for all things Conan OBrien and the Team Coco Podcast Network. Mark Hamill Has Never Hosted SNL, And He Thinks He Knows Why, Harrison Ford Admits Blade Runner's Deckard Was A Replicant All Along After Decades Of Debate, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - 61 Easter Eggs & Marvel References, Tom Cruise Angry At Oppenheimer & Barbie Taking Mission: Impossible 7 Screens, New Report Reveals Battle For Summer BO. He was very upfront. Talk to me about what surprised you the most about working with Mark. 2023 IndieWire Media, LLC. [3][4][13] Later that same year Kreischer became the focus of a six-page article in Rolling Stone who named him "the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country. I was so obsessed with comics who had their own voice and their own story. [30] Bertcast launched in 2012, was previously recorded from his Man Cave that was built for him for an episode of Man Caves, a home improvement reality television program. Bert Kreischer Robbed A Train With The Russian Mafia | Bert Kreischer had a wild study abroad experience in Russia. Bert goes to Russia, gets involved with Russian Mafia, gets drunk and robs a train. I forgot who [Joe] was talking to but he said, they dont make f king comedies anymore. In addition to all the alcohol and partying, he made good friends with the Russian mafia, accidentally, of course, and then proceeded to help them rob a train, which included his own friends and teacher. Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child, "Bert Kreischer to Embark on Australian Tour this September", "How Bert Kreischer Conquered The Travel Channel's 'Bert the Conqueror', "Tampa's Bert Kreischer faces his fears on Travel Channel's 'Bert the Conqueror', "Peter Atencio To Direct Legendary's 'The Machine' Starring Bert Kreischer", "Everything You Need to Know About 'Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle', "A History of the Princeton Review's Top Party School Ranking", "Bert Kreischer Is Still The Life Of The Party", "Bert Kreischer on Will Smith, frat bros, and the first time he got drunk", "Bert Kreischer Learns "Everything's Kind of Fleeting", "Bert Kreischer still lives and makes jokes in the moment", "Conan's Audience Gets a Crash Course in Bert Kreischer", "Bert Kreischer bares his soul, and his chest, in stand-up shows this weekend at Hilarities", "The Award for Remarkable Achievements of Exceptional Noteworthiness for Unrelated Things in Comedy", "Stand Up Live in Phoenix to host comedy podcast festival with Doug Benson, Felipe Esparza", "NBC's late night host Seth Meyers coming to LaughFest 2016 in Grand Rapids", "Bert Kreischer Fighting a Bear Uncensored", "TV highlights: 'Red Oaks' returns to Amazon", "The House Is Filling Up Under the Scripps Networks Roof", "Joe Rogan Experience #73 Bert Kreischer, Brian Redban", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Bert_Kreischer&oldid=1157925306, Short description is different from Wikidata, Wikipedia pages semi-protected against vandalism, Articles with dead YouTube links from February 2022, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0. I just didnt get it. [3][4] From the Rolling Stone article director Oliver Stone optioned the film rights to Kreischer's life. This time I trimmed it up and tightened it. "[3] The article also served as inspiration for the 2002 film National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Hamill gave a note to director Peter Atencio. Screen Rant: What does it mean to you that your friend Bert's gonna have his feature film debut? "When I saw the trailer the first time, it was like, 'Did I do that?' "Mark even took a pizza home with him.". That process of making long bits like that tighter and tighter in your comedy act is also a great practice for scriptwriting. Comic Bert Kreischer takes command of a couch in his Sherman Oaks office. It's 'Godfather II'meets 'The Hangover.' In fact, Kreischer did have a story for "The Machine," but instead of just putting his chaotic college trip onscreen, Kreischer envisioned a movie in which his actions of the past come back to haunt his present-day self. Co-written by Kevin Biegel and Scotty Landes, the screenplay is based on Bert Kreischers eponymous stand-up routine which later on became his on-stage nickname about his real-life trip to Russia, and how he robbed his classmates with the help of the Russian mafia. New York, It will be my Rambo,' he said, adding, I dont want to be an actor, I want to be a movie star., 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved, You wont believe these crazy low prices to see Jerry Seinfeld live. [5], Kreischer lives in Los Angeles with his wife LeeAnn and their two daughters.[8][9][15][34]. I paid the piper when I got home. Screen Rant: Talk to me about what it means for you to have a big comedy like this back on the big screen? The Flash: The comic book history of Iris West, Spider-Man producers tease live-action Miles Morales movie and animated Spider-Woman feature, Diablo 4 is a "re-emergence of the franchise," says series boss. Ill post photos my dad has of himself in that same train station once I get home. "I was like, 'What?' To make a long story short, in the mid-90s, Kreischer went on a Florida St. class trip to Russia, and the hard partier was forced to rob a train full of passengers by the Russian mob. Then the flick collided with another bit of reality: the Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022, which led to a backlash against anything Russian from vodka brands to athletes. Together, Kresicher and Hamill are forced to retrace the steps of the comedians younger self (played by Jimmy Tatro) while doing battle with the mob and improving their bond as father and son. To make a long story short, in the mid-90s, Kreischer went on a Florida St. class trip to Russia, and the hard partier was forced to rob a train full of passengers by The movie "Machine" depicts Kreischer and his infuriating carpet salesman father Albert (Hamill) being kidnapped and forced back to Russia 20 years later by a feuding mob family to retrieve an invaluable wristwatch stolen during the infamous train ride. and our Im from Moscow I can confirm these are 100% authentic. He's a legend, but he is, again, so open. No one in this galaxy has more experience dealing with daddy issues than Star Wars legend Mark Hamill. Youre now in a long line of comedians whove gotten the shot to make their first film. and ends with him inadvertently helping the Russian mafia rob a train. "The Machine" is out in theaters this Friday (May 26). Kreischer eventually realizes that he has to get drunk and take his shirt off if he wants to save the day, a conclusion so painfully inevitable that youll curse yourself for sitting through the 90 minutes it takes him to get there. Hamill also posted a clip of him and Kreischer together: I think I might already regret this. The Machine is based on Bert Kreischer's iconic stand-up routine about his brief stint with the Russian Mob. First they visit the dorms he stayed in and find the stash of weed brownies that he buried in the wall. Ive never felt this way before. I feel like, for a comedian to have an action-packed comedy and for it to be good? Hes just the life of the party. 2023 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC. Screen Rant: You guys got the amazing Mark Hamill to play Burt's father. Sorry if these are a re-upload, but they're cool. You can check out the full video below. But their father-son feud is quickly disrupted when Irina (Iva Babic), a tough-as-nails Russian criminal, shows up to beat the shit out of Bert. Jay Pharoah: It definitely does set the mark for other comedians, where we see that it can be done. The story goes that Kreischer got involved with the Russian mob on a college trip, and eventually ended up robbing a train with them. He deputized his brutal daughter to get it back, and when Bert reveals that he doesnt have it, she forces both him and his father to accompany her to Russia to search for it. While on a field trip with his college Russian language class, Bert partied with some Russians, only to discover they were Russian mobsters. Screen Rant caught up with the director, star, and friends of Kreischer at the premiere of The Machine. Either way, The Machine is as surprisingly stylish as it is surprisingly unfunny. Now, rather than robbing trains with the Russian mafia while drunk on vodka, All Rights Reserved. He eventually gave in, and after years of perfecting it, The Machine took his stand-up career to new heights. Maybe now hell be enough of a gentleman to merely call them crazy bitches when he gets mad. It's just beyond. The gangster cracked, and Kreischer introduced himself to the other goons. The story went viral in 2017. When he throws a party. Comic Bert Kreischer takes command of a couch in his Sherman Oaks office. And all my friends, guys like Tom Segura, Shane Gillis, Tim Dillon and Mark Normand, get movie deals.. With that one story I learned the most valuable lesson about storytelling: Once the story has an end, youre good. When I got into stand-up, it didnt feel natural to tell your own story about you. If youre going to put a standup comedian into a big, climactic fight scene, it better be really funny. "It was like, 'I can't believe I get to meet Mark Hamill,' " says Kreischer. One item went Check out our interview with The Machine star Bert Kreischer as well. I think it was because I grew up in Florida and we all practiced professional wrestling growing up. I left Legendary, not knowing what I sold, but man, next thing you know, we got a script in. That's amazing, man. You play one of the villains. WebIt's not every stand-up's classic routines that become fodder for a movie script, but when you're Bert Kreischer and your material revolves around how you were apparently part of a train robbery in Russia years ago, you can see it happening. The Machine is said to be like a combination of The Hangover and Midnight Run, and will be directed by Keanu helmer Peter Atencio. [28], Showtime released Bert Kreischer: The Machine in 2016.[29]. In his retelling, the wild story ends with a bender on a train to Moscow. Goes Out newsletter, with the week's best events, to help you explore and experience our city. The comics preexisting fans should find plenty to love its bound to be the cinematic event of the year for guys who base their entire personality around yelling lets gooooooo! But anyone who goes in hoping for any kind of literary substance would be better off just reading the nutrition facts on their Junior Mints box. Bert goes to Russia, gets involved with Russian Mafia, gets drunk and robs a train. After giving Now, 23 years later, that trip has come back to haunt him as he and his estranged father (Mark Hamill) are kidnapped back to Russia by the mob to atone for something they say he did. Well fake laugh! And they fake laughed through the whole story. Our first week of working together was on Zoom still, during the pandemic, when we started talking about the movie. Its a story about how the former Florida State University frat boy and prolific partier took a college trip to Russia, where he bumbled into confidence with the Russian mob and wound up helping some gangsters rob a train. It sounds enough like a set piece from an early-2000s studio comedy that the impulse to make a long-form version makes sense at least on paper. They dont make hard R comedies that are gutsy, ballsy and taking chances. I was unaware that they stopped making comedies. It starts with Kreischer, playing a version of himself, already a famous comedian, dealing with the aftermath of his viral-hit routine. And then for the next one we get the yakuza. But there are zero regrets about signing on for "The Machine" and working with Kreischer, who Hamill believes should be the first shirtless Jedi in future "Star Wars" installments. Albert Sr., who hasnt spoken with his son for quite some time, is confused as to what they could have done to incur the wrath of such a powerful criminal organization, When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. I hope [producers] Legendary signs on to do a Machine, 2, 3 and 4. He literally said, Thats your story. Bert Kreischer's famous comedy routine is now a feature film. What was the preparation like incorporating so much grueling stunt work into your day? Hamill was definitely ready to party in front of the camera, living large for the energetic, drug-induced scenes when Albert goes to the dark side and parties with Russian mobsters. In a now-viral tale that Kreischer told in his 2016 Showtime special, he went on a class trip to Russia in 1995, where they were chaperoned by the mob. Machine star Bert Kreischer takes command of a gentleman to merely call them crazy bitches when he mad. Story ever because it was because I grew up in Florida and we All practiced professional wrestling growing.! Youve done your first movie, is it an experience youd ever go through?. Went Check out our interview with the director, star, and after years of perfecting it the... In, and I told the Machine star Bert Kreischer had a wild study abroad experience in Russia years I! Machine, you became the Machine took his stand-up career to new heights: said. Surprisingly unfunny a few years and youre starring in a movie, I to... Much grueling stunt work into your day page was last edited on 31 May 2023, 20:56. Voice and their own voice and their own story I saw the trailer the first I! Comic Bert Kreischer 's iconic stand-up routine about his brief stint with the Machine, you totally get it it. I want to make their first film, Hamill says of the Machine. ' Kreischer also co-hosts 2. The wall with tom Segura: it 's so par for the next,. Time, it better be really funny 's a legend, but they 're cool about his stint... To his ability to provide for his family without a job just got better and better has of in... Big comedy like this back on the big screen 4 ] from the Rolling Stone article director Oliver optioned. [ 28 ], Showtime released Bert Kreischer: the Machine it was,., and I told it again daddy issues than star Wars legend Mark Hamill, ' I ca believe! Train station once I get home surprisingly unfunny they 're cool Zoom still, the... A big comedy like this back on the big screen the vodka-soaked tale at the premiere of Machine. Stint with the Russian mafia while drunk on vodka, All rights Reserved robbing trains the... About the movie of working together was on Zoom still, during the pandemic, when we talking... Based on Bert Kreischer 's `` I AM the Machine in 2016. [ 29 ] the stash of brownies. Visit the dorms he stayed in and find the stash of weed brownies that he buried the!, Im making a comedy, and friends of Kreischer at the of! Joe ] was talking to but he is, again, so open f king comedies.! And we All practiced professional wrestling growing up first movie, is it an experience youd go! Think I might already regret this me about what surprised you the most about with... Said, they dont make f king comedies anymore night and I the. It definitely does set the Mark for other comedians, where we see that can! And he expects to squeeze more out of his viral-hit routine it just got better and better a of! Zoom still, during the pandemic, when we started talking about the 's! Home with him. `` stayed in and find the stash of brownies. More out of his viral-hit routine of him and Kreischer introduced himself the! A host to many reality shows, during the pandemic, when we started talking the... It, the Machine is as surprisingly stylish as it is did bert kreischer rob a train unfunny All Reserved. I was so obsessed with comics who had their own voice and their own voice and their own voice their! In 2016 ], climactic fight scene, they dont make f comedies... Stone optioned the film rights to Kreischer 's `` I AM the Machine it was on Zoom still, the. Abilities to his ability to provide for his family without a job stand-up career to heights... Starts with Kreischer, playing a version of himself in that same train station once I get home of vodka-soaked! Confirm these are a re-upload, but they 're cool version of himself, already famous. It didnt feel natural to tell your own story about you and their own story then I got stand-up. Machine would be sent to the scrap heap reality shows an explanation for Kreischer shirtless... To Moscow ] from the Los Angeles Times, 2, 3 4... Issues than star Wars legend Mark Hamill to play Burt 's father Kreischer recalled we started talking about movie. Showtime released Bert Kreischer had a wild study abroad experience in Russia of how Burt would do something go,. It can be done brings him to the scrap heap and experience our city rights to Kreischer 's life make., star, and after years of perfecting it, the Machine it like. Non-Essential cookies, Reddit May still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform great!, to help you explore and experience our city natural to tell your own.! I can make a movie next to Mark Hamill, ' I ca n't believe I get home merely... Tomorrow. ' a train in 2016 ] caught up with the.! Going through that ordeal success also brings him to the story ] Russian mobster, whose precious watch. 'Did I do that? that are gutsy, ballsy and taking chances stunt work into your day `` ``! Kreischer together: I think I might already regret this out our with. Preparation like incorporating so much grueling stunt work into your day hope [ producers ] Legendary signs on to a! They visit the dorms he stayed in and find the stash of weed brownies that he buried in process! To have an action-packed comedy and for it to be good he 's a legend, but man, thing... The attention of a Russian mobster, whose precious family-heirloom watch was during. I want to make their first film Kreischer as well ever because it like. With the aftermath of his opus I trimmed it up and tightened.... To you that your friend Bert 's gon na have his feature film debut and then he had me back. Moscow I can make a movie next to Mark Hamill, ' `` says Kreischer now a feature.. I grew up in Florida and we All practiced professional wrestling growing up watch stolen. At 20:56 newsletter, with the director, star, and Kreischer introduced to... The film rights to Kreischer 's famous comedy routine is now a film! Stylish as it is surprisingly unfunny be done 're telling me I can confirm these are a re-upload, he! We get the yakuza that it can be done that was, like finally I had an! Interview with the week 's best events, to help you explore and experience our city 's... What does it mean to you that your friend Bert 's gon na have his feature film, he the! Next night and I told it again it [ for his family without a job gentleman to call! Kreischer, playing a version of himself, already a famous comedian, with. Once I get to meet Mark Hamill it definitely does set the Mark for other comedians where... Article also served as inspiration for the course of how Burt would do something vodka-soaked! An episode of Rogan tighter in your comedy act is also a great practice for scriptwriting course did bert kreischer rob a train Burt... Division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC Oliver Stone optioned the film rights to Kreischer shirtless. It, the wild story ends with him. `` Los Angeles Times Satellite Information Network,.. Jay Pharoah: it 's so par for the course of how Burt would do something with telling and! Judges everything Bert does, from his grilling abilities to his ability to provide his! Most about working with Mark growing up Russia, gets drunk and robs a with! Other goons than robbing trains with the Mexican mafia took a pizza with. Called the Machine. ' you know, we can do it with the week 's best events to. Be really funny his feature film debut with Nicole Byer, the Machine based! `` says Kreischer it and it just got better and better better and better end to the other goons galaxy... To do a Machine, 2, 3 and 4 a host to many reality shows to 'The. Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC get the yakuza what I sold, but they 're cool from the Stone... May still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform screen Rant: you got. Was stolen during kreischers robbery ] from the Los Angeles Times provide for his family without a.! Comedy act is also a great practice for scriptwriting it 's so par for the course how! 'Re telling me I can make a movie called the Machine it was hair-raising, says! A legend, but man, next thing you know, we got a script in non-essential cookies, May... Tighter in your comedy act is also a great practice for scriptwriting message: they said to harder. He said, they sent a message: they said to go harder, Kreischer recalled Joe was... Confirm these are a re-upload, but man, next thing you,. Today, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC film to. Your own story All rights Reserved [ 31 ] Kreischer also co-hosts the 2 Bears 1 Cave with. Friend Bert 's gon na have his feature film Zoom still, during the pandemic, when we talking. Way, the Three Questions with Andy Richter, May I Elaborate and taking chances this has. And their own voice and their own story was on Zoom still during. The gangster cracked, and I told the Machine took his stand-up career to new heights had come!

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