"I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. Just my opinion. instead of: Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Take it away, expand if you please! Lol I love you already. But I can't leave my job. I don't see any good coming from me confessing, only hurt and upset and doubt, and think my time would be better spent working on my relationship, and working through the issues that are putting so much pressure on us at the moment. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. female Or run away? As time elapsed, I realized that I was attracted to him and this began to concern me. Again - your choice. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. It happens, in other words. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. i cried for days on and my bf couldnt figure out was . Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. I say tell him. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? ;-p There's a difference between sex and kissing. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. I was very drunk. Have a happy day every one. I took the ride. Sentiment accepted, though. Shes Colombian and very fiery. I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. We were not drunk. get into counselling. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! You already have internalized that part. FoxieLadie is Biological ones. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? She had gone to bed. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Don't have an account? Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Your choice, as ever. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. Can you tthan please explain this? Any advice guys? My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. Go cold turkey. As long as you are sincere about making this work, your punishment should be to bear this guilt. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. Okay. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Truth-seekers are never popular. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. 15 votes, 25 comments. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). focus on you and your DH. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. :(. You wanna tell your husband? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Keep it to yourself. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. response. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. Whoever did it, doesnt matter. I feel so bad since then. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. lover. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. SOULMATE is totally right and we all know it. I mean that in a funny way. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. Despite their passion during the kiss. / Dyathinkhesaurus? How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. male It was just a kiss. Him coming to you within 2 days of his wayward deed , when he could have easily gotten away with it, this is something to consider. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. Fear holds you back. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! I agree. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. I am giving him space to think. Don't feel guilty. And the tricky piece de resistance Ugh, basically. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? It happened two days ago. ;-)) reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A LOL I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. This one by far has lasted the longest. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. What? I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. Or do I? When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. I regret waiting so long to tell him.-2 months. I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A My wife wants to leave because of this. Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?! Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. With the other woman just across the room! You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. Pointer much appreciated, though. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. But please seperate the issues. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. Forget about it! Well, that's all fairly laudible but You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. There is more going on. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, I was the driver so I did not drink at all just the wto girls. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. Other way around. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. (Sorry you got cheated on. Damn, my husband is such a good person and we were together for almost 7 years now. Kissed someone on vakation while drunk, cheating or not?
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